35 & Still Alive...Who Would Have Thought...

I decided to get spread a little Canadian love around the office on the first and got the crew out for a surf... Unfortunately I still can't get in the water so I had to do a little improvising...

For 'Merica's big day I decided to dress the part...It's not hard to do when you live beside a swap meet..Ok..Actually This is how I dress most days...you cant beat $25.00 dickies and $1.00 Wife Beaters..

Had a great weekend with Andy at the LIVESTRONG Ride in Davis California last weekend! I have never been up to NorCal..It was a beautiful drive, And Andy was an amazing tour guide, I know he made up most of the answers to my questions..And now I will likely go around spreading miss information about...but the effort was appreciated. We popped by the Shark Tank in San Jose to rock some Hi-5's and Say thanks for their participation in last years campaign.

Andy rocked out a solid 70mile bike ride sunday morning in memory of his grandfather, It was pretty amazing. One of the things I love about the LIVESTRONG Challenges is the visual of the riders coming over the finish line.

The Embassy Suites Booth at These events are typically my favorite.

Nicole was re-enacting her version of what happened to the neck.

I remember being in Philly for the ride last year and meeting some of the most amazing people, so engaged in the survivorship space, It was amazing. Allow me to set the stage that will stick in my head forever...."The snapshot"...As I like to call it. I Was watching survivors coming across the finish line, Covered in dirt, sweat, and Rain, after riding a 100km course with big hills. Suddenly people started throwing Yellow rose petals up in the air as these Cancer survivors rode across the finish line, Hands in the air, Rose petals swirling around their heads, tears streaming down their faces...They did it. I find a lot of strength in this imagery, It makes me tear up every time I go there in my mind. Most importantly when Im having a bad day, or feeling sorry for myself, I go back to this moment...And it propels me over what ever obstacle may be preventing me from moving forward. They were so happy to be alive...They were afforded a second chance...And so was I essentially...I need to always respect that.

We have been reppin the Brown and Yellow at Movember events since way back..









The Wil-I-Am video they shot in our backyard a month back just got released...I hope you enjoy it....In the video you will see our back yard, front yard and Andy's porno bedroom....And this video is the reason we have a kiddie pool and swing set in the back yard for all y'all that were wondering. We are not creepy...In that way.

I couldn't have asked for a better 35th Birthday, Thanks to all of you who reached out...It was overwhelming. We had an epic sunset skate to the pier in Santa Monica for an Ice Cold PBR, Then back to Venice to Hinano for one of the best burgers in LA and off to Sports Harbor where I unleashed my Whitney Houston upon the unsuspecting audience...Im graceful for a big man..

Everything seems to be healing well, Im hoping to get back in to the water soon...Maybe another 3weeks or so...At least I'm going to have a killer tan line to take away from the gnarly scar. If you notice, It has scarred over almost all of the wound finally, except for the middle...Im jazzed!

The most irritation and pain is coming from the adhesive it gets sore during the day and still occasionally bleeds through...But the wound it's self is looking hot! (And by hot I mean almost healed). Thanks for reading...











"Scar Tissue is Stronger Than Regular Tissue, Realize the Strength, Move On." - Henry Rollins

They See Me Rolllin..They Hatin...

Well actually I don't think anyone is hatin...But they do see me rollin...It's kind of all I can do right now. Im still not allowed to work out, or run, or exercise to much but I can skate...And Gosh Darn it...Im skating. I have been trying to get out at least 50 Miles a week, Its not hard when the days are so beautiful...It's also hard not to get caught up in the weather...Hit a rock and bail....Yahtzee!

Im sorry for taking so long to get back to the blog....(As my wonderful grandfather pointed out) It's been hard, I have been waiting for my bandage to be gone before I posted...I really wanted to show you a healed Bubz..I really thought I would be by now...Alas I guess thats why it's called recovery...The wound seems to be shrinking every day...There is still leakage (blood) and drainage (green stuff, I hate the P word) but it's getting to be less every day. The only pain really, That I have been feeling, comes from the skin that has been ripped and torn from the adhesive of the bandages around the wound...Oddly enough it looks like a little moustache.

I have gotten over my self consciousness of the bandage...I still rock a neck scarf on occasion, but it's more for the fashion. Syd helped me get over it, As well as just accepting that it is a part of my life right now. I have learned to embrace the bandage, and realize that like the moustache, It's a conversation starter. I have met some of the neatest people in the past 3 months on my daily journeys around town...And Im not sure if we ever would have spoken if it wasn't for my hot new look. I'm sure that when the Scar comes I may (mentally) have to go through the process again...But im ready for it, I just have to realize the strength, and move on.

For St.Jean de Baptiste Day, As a good Canadian Boy, I decided to dress up like a french man for the day. It was also subtle animal theme day at the office...

Apparently Donnie missed the Subtle memo..

Im working on a dietary guide for people recovering from Necrotizing Fasciitis. These Staples have helped my recovery, Ensuring that I replenish the nutrients that my body lost in the hospital. I hope it helps.

Meet The Leonetti Special from Hinano Cafe...A Bacon Cheese Burger with A Hot Link Served with Frito's, Hot Peppers and an Ice Cold Dos Equis. Ask for Mary Alice...She's been like a personal nurse.

And A tray full of Tito's can be a real game changer on your weakest days...Trust me...

Finally if you followed this far down...Hit the link below...It's a local artsy picture blog I'm a part of....Come see venice through the eyes of a Cabron...

http://venicecabron.posterous.com/

"Scar Tissue is Stronger Than Regular Tissue, Realize the Strength, Move On." - Henry Rollins

Moving Forward Sometimes Takes A Push

Sorry it's taken so long to spit this one out..I have been waiting on it, as I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about it. But as a man who constantly preaches Men's health, mental and physical Im not sure why it took me so long to write about it.

I went , on the doctors suggestion, to a therapist 3 weeks ago. From my last post, I am obviously not fully comfortable with my new look as well I was having some troubles with the whole "Near Death Experience" Thing.

It seems there are many people that think once you come that close.....You immediately have a crazy life changing dramatic experience. You see a light and move towards it and look down and see yourself...Then fall back in to your own body...Wake up...Stop swearing..Cut Meat out of your diet and go to church...

Well that may be true for many but not this kid...

I may tell people that "I saw Jesus calling me to me, beckoning me to his bosom. As I floated up, I heard the voice of my friend Derek Waters calling me back, I turned and saw Derek on a Giant Unicorn with nothing but a Glow in the Dark Sword and a pocket full of Churro's, Derek lured me back to my body." That did not happen (It may however have been a morphine induced delusion....But im pretty sure it happened way after I was out of harms way).

I have been feeling a lot of guilt that my life changing story isn't what people think of as a definitive moment in my life...That I should change my life in drastic ways to show my appreciation for being given a second chance....That Maybe I don't deserve another shot at this. But My life was Rad Before, It's only gonna get Radder (I will use that if I want to), And im so happy to have it back! Everything tastes better! I want to go skate the beach every second of every day. I never want to ever see a Cigarette again. I want to ensure that I take care of this vessel for the next 35yrs....But I have no "Find Jesus, Aliens probed me, Going Vegetarian, Im gonna move to Japan and save dolphins moment", That so many people ask about.

After meeting with Syd (The Therapist) I no longer have those guilty feelings, Syd explained that when people hear about what happened to me, they Google "Near Death Experience". What they see is a long list of stories of people floating over their bodies, Moving towards a light, Being spoken to etc...That are now going to drastically change their ways.

What they don't find however is the thousands of other people in the world who didn't have one of those experiences...Those people who already loved what they had and just appreciate life so much more and can't wait to get back to it...By the sounds of it...Im in good company.

Im going to keep going back to Syd, See if I Can't work out some other things that are bothering me or maybe holding me back...I only have a limited time on this earth...And I want to go as far as I possibly can!

I want to dedicate this blog to Gilles, Matty, Mark, Brad, Tammy, Matt, James and Derek....I'm sorry you never were able to talk it out...I will never know the darkness you lived in.

"Scar Tissue is Stronger Than Regular Tissue, Realize the Strength, Move On." - Henry Rollins

Harder, Better, Stronger, Faster

This Past week has been Amazing! I got in to the clinic for my 9am, Appt after a 6hr wait. And the Verdict....Im a wolverine..
Well maybe not, but the doctors are saying that I am healing faster than they could ever have expected! They also introduced me As "The Guy Who Shouldn't Be Alive" It was a compliment...I think. I can start in on some light exercise..No weights yet, but I can skate and bike which is great.

Last Tuesday was an amazing day! The Boys from Finger 11 were in town for a show at the House of Blues. Rick put some All Access Passes away and Andy, Roberto and I headed down. The Boyz killed the show, It was one of, if not the, best I had ever seen..Not only was it an amazing show, It was so great to see Rick and James and the rest of the crew and just catch up with some peeps from home. After the House of Blues started Fire (Actually Happened) we left and went to the Rainbow Room where we all acted like little girls around Till Lindermann and finally asked for his picture.

We were lucky enough to have Emmy Award winning Documentarian Michael Davie (http://michaeldavie.com/) in the office shooting a spot on Adam and the office for Movember....I was back with a straight blade in hand like I hadn't skipped a beat...Taught by Youtube and only 2 people cut so far...Still sorry about that Yimmy.

We took Cory's son Liam to Hollywood Park Race Track on Friday for dollar beer and dollar hotdog night and the Gin Blossoms show. Liam had a blast, but is possibly the worst horse picker i have ever met!

I am going to wait till he is old enough to Mow Lawns then take back the $5.00 bucks he owes me for his ridiculous bets. On a positive note, we didn't have to stay for the Gin Blossoms Show..

Now for the Grody Shots..This is the Neck today....It's healing so well!

I still have Mrs.Goh my nurse coming in 3 Days a week, hopefully it will all end soon and i can go back to a normal schedule.

Mr.G wanted to say a quick hello with his new ball from the PETCOUnleashed after a lovely dog washing.

Lots more updates to come this week but i will split it up...I did have a Will.I.Am video shot at the house the other day..More on this later this week.

Xo
B

"Scar Tissue is Stronger Than Regular Tissue, Realize the Strength, Move On." - Henry Rollins

Visiting My Past To Help Me Appreciate My Present

Starting last Tuesday I was finally able to get back to work....So happy to be out of the house and back to the office...I walked in to work on Tuesday to see Andy, my awesome roommate and Co-Worker, sporting a Bandana in support.  It was awesome, sometimes something so small can have such a huge impact on someone.  I have been digging the Bandana stye, It takes away from the stares, of which there are many when you have a huge bandage around your neck.

I have really started to take notice of generally how brash people can be,  At least 5 times a day someone will stop me and ask what happened.  I wouldn't mind if they just asked politely, however the ones that have the courage to ask also tend to predetermine what happened to me and incorporate it in to their questions.  Here are some..

"Did you get stabbed in the neck..." (I get asked this one more when I wear a flat brimmed hat)
"Wow...That looks really bad...That must really hurt" (This is when the sensitive face comes out, usually with a side tilt of the head)
"Were you in a fight?"  Along the same lines "How's the other guy?" (This is usually said under breath as i walk by)
"OMG, What happend to you?  That looks Nasty"  (New one...Just came out with the scar from my trake now being exposed, Its hot for the ego).

A simple "I hope you don't mind me asking but are you OK?, What happened?." would be a welcome change.

I got some hot photo's from Days 1 to 4 that I had not seen yet.  They are really helping me understand where I was at and how lucky I am to be here. I thought I would post them up here for your perusal....
This first one is Pre Surgery...This is how I looked On the Sunday Night...My Eyes are open but I am in Sweet Drug Coma Land apparently. Ps...Some great hair going on here....

Apparently at this point, I have awoken and (Via Note Pad) asked Kathleen to take a photo of my Catheter so I can send it to Adam..

"I can haz thum warz?" Might just make these pics in to Meme's...

I had to be restrained...Apparently every time i would become a little lucid....I tried to rip everything out of my body. I as well was shaking uncontrollably at some points and needed to be tied down..Sorry to those of you that were there. I can't imagine it was easy to watch...

All in All, It's hard to look at these photo's but at the same time it makes me realize how far I have come in such little time. I can't imagine how hard it was for all of you that were with me. Thank you...Im so lucky to have all of you in my life.

I am hoping for some really positive updates from the Doc's coming tomorrow! Keep ya posted.





"Scar Tissue is Stronger Than Regular Tissue, Realize the Strength, Move On." - Henry Rollins

If Im Getting Better...Why Do I Have The Same Size Gash In My Neck

Things Seem to be Coming Along...My Trake is Almost Healed Over, Which is nice...I can start Speaking again. The Less I spoke the faster it would heal so I have been speaking very little the past 2 weeks..Imagine that!

The Trake hole is no longer letting Air out which is a great relief...The Nurse says only a week or so and it should be totally healed up!

A huge THANKS to Jonny Fosters and the Molson boyz for the New Pil Sweatshirt...It's nice to have a little taste of home. The Nurses say this is healing up quickly as well, but it's hard for me to tell....It's not getting any smaller.

The Nurse does say that it is getting granular which is supposed to be a good thing....
" Proliferation lasts from day two until the area is healed and features granulation, contraction, and epithelialization. Granulation includes neoangiogenesis and collagen formation. Granular tissue is pale pink to beefy red, glistening, and has a rough surface due to blood vessels and collagen deposits Contraction occurs as a result of myofibroblasts pulling collagen toward the cell body, and epithelialization is the migration of epithelial cells to resurface the area. Maturation is the last phase of healing, and involves scar remodeling after wound closure and may take years. Maturation sees a scar change from red to purple/pink to white, and from bumpy to flat."

I'm Finally back to work today...The nurse comes at 10ish and then im good to make my way down...Feels so good to be out of the house and back at work! I get still get tired quickly but every day seems to make me stronger and stronger.










"Scar Tissue is Stronger Than Regular Tissue, Realize the Strength, Move On." - Henry Rollins

Pssssst...If you look like this..Go to the Hospital...Just Sayin..

Read My First Post "The Game Changer" to get the full story....

This was a Pre-Surgery Pic that was just sent..It really shows how bad the swelling had gotten.  I had not seen these, Wow....Thats a doozie!  It's so scary to see myself like this.

And This would be one of the first Post Surgery pics I believe, Notice the swelling has gone down and they have cut the necrotizing flesh out.

I will be sure to publish some progress pics tomorrow when the Nurse comes to change the dressings.  Feeling Great today and going to try and walk to the Pier and Back with out getting tired....

"Scar Tissue is Stronger Than Regular Tissue, Realize the Strength, Move On." - Henry Rollins